Today is one of the low days, a friend, came over from Canada to grieve over the loss of a good one, every time I land up in this space, I dip and then I get up again and then I fall and I rise and that has been the journey in the last five months since, we both lost a loved one to COVID.
I push myself to run, and some days I crawl, some days I walk and some days I sprint, I am moving that is important. I don’t know when I will heal completely or whether I will ever?? Is still to be seen.
What I have learnt is that I am not a victim and I don’t like sympathies and I open up with very few close friends and family only about my pain, mostly Access and my brother have my back, front, up, down, forward and so on and so forth…. And I keep rising with 10 second increments everyday and I can surely say that I am not there where I was 5,4,3,2,1 months ago ….I shift a little each day.
I choose love from so many who still shower it, I choose happiness with my kids, I choose happiness of work and making money each day and expanding into newer pastures each.
Life is different now …..it is still beautiful only if we choose….I had just stopped choosing …I am getting there….will finally expand to newer happinesses soon .
That vacuum will always will be there I will just learn to live with it and move ahead with it….. currently I just juggle myself.
